


Oxygen

by Sylanna



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Drama, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, demisexual Maedhros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylanna/pseuds/Sylanna
Summary: Fingon is unlucky in love, having a break-up with his current partner. He's also pining for someone he never told his best friend Maedhros the name of.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	Oxygen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starlightwalking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/gifts).



> This is for starlightwalking, who was very kind to me during the last months and helped me connect with the fandom. Thank you sooo much!  
> Also, I am sorry for the tangle of words I'm gifting to you.

Maedhros was working on his laptop, trying to edit a paper, when he heard the shouting from across the hallway of his tiny student apartment.

“I have the gall to insult me in front of the whole course and now you come to tell me I overreacted? Get out! I do not want to see you here again!”

“But babe…”

“I’m not your babe and never will be. Goodbye.”

“Fingo…” A door was shut forcefully.

The voice obviously belonged to his best friend and neighbour Fingon. The one answering was Duilion, his now apparently ex-boyfriend. This goodbye had not been a good one and been painful to overhear. For once, Maedhros thanked the thin walls of the building, for he heard the footsteps of Duilion leave. He heard a loud thump from his best friend’s apartment.

Maedhros shut his laptop down and closed the lid. From across the hallway, he could hear Fingon scream in anger for a short moment and he made his decision. He stood up and went into the kitchen, grabbing some chocolate from his upper cabinet. With it in hand, he took Fingon’s favourite blanket from his couch where the other had left it after their gaming session the evening before and went to the door. He stepped out onto the hallway and carefully knocked at Fingon’s door.

“Go away!”, the other shouted from the inside, clearly believing it to be the ex still outside.

“It’s me”, Maedhros said. “Will you let me in?”

“Not now, it’s a bad timing”, Fingon answered.

Maedhros breathed in deeply. “I heard what happened. I brought chocolate and your blanket.”

The door opened and Fingon appeared, his face streaked by tears. “Come in”, he sniffed and stepped aside.

The flat was in disarray, Maedhros noted. Fingon must have thrown the pillows off his small couch in anger. The flat was not bigger than Maedhros’. They lived in student housing, typically two room apartments, with a small bath, a kitchen/workroom and a bedroom. Granted, these were bigger than others, even though they still offered not much space to live.

“I was searching for the blanket”, Fingon said in a way of explaining the mess. I forgot I had forgotten it at yours.”

Maedhros held the warm fabric out. His friend took it and wrapped himself in it. “Thank you.”

“Can I do something for you?”

“Please stay for a while.”

This Maedhros could do. The paper he was finishing was nothing urgent, so he settled next to Fingon on the couch. His friend almost immediately settled against him, staring into nothingness. Maedhros kept quiet and offered his silent comfort. They had know each other for the duration of their studies, which was almost four years, during which they had evolved from strangers to best friends.

As the warmth of Fingon’s body began seeping into Maedhros’ skin, the red-haired ellon thought about how his feelings had shifted from platonic into more in the last few months.

“Why do I always get the assholes?”, Fingon asked after some while.

Maedhros remembered how enthusiastic his friend had been when he had met Duilion. “You deserve better”, he just said.

“I had hoped it would work out”, Fingon said with a hitch to his voice. “You know, someone who truly cares for me, not my body.”

“What happened?”, Maedhros asked. Yesterday, Fingon had still been mostly positive about having a dinner with his boyfriend. It was unfair he was crying now.

“Told someone it was a shame he had to pay for the dinner, which he had offered by the way. This other guy he was talking with called me a cheap whore loud enough for everyone to hear. Duilion laughed at that and I fled.”

What an asshole! Maedhros wished he had opened the door sooner and punched that miserable little boy. “You made the right decision, someone like that doesn’t deserve you.”

“Thank you Mae.”

Maedhros laid an arm around Fingon’s shoulders. “I am here for you.”

After a while, Fingon calmed down again. He sniffed. “It was probably not going to last long anyway”, he murmured.

This talk was not new to Maedhros. He knew from previous hints his friend loved someone else too, secretly and hopelessly. Someone who was not returning his feelings. Knowing this made Maedhros feel worse, because he loved Fingon, which would never have a future. Sometimes he wished he knew the name of the other guy, so he could shake some sense into him.

“Because of Oxygen?” It was a small injoke between them. Fingon had called his secret crush the Other One often enough, until they had shortened it to O2. From there it was not big jump to the chemical element and somehow the nickname had stuck.

Fingon actually laughed a bit. “Yes. And this is hopeless. Maybe I should live celibate like you.”

Again Maedhros wondered if he should tell Fingon about the concept of demisexuality, a label which Maedhros had chosen for himself, but he pushed the thought aside. He was not living celibate by choice, which the term implicated. Maedhros was just unable to feel attraction to someone who was a stranger, he needed some come of friendship first. Which automatically teleported him to the friendzone forever.

“I am sure you will find someone, and who knows, maybe Oxygen will come around?”

“I don’t think so”, Fingon said unhappily.

“I could help you, find out if Oxygen even likes ellyn”, Maedhros proposed.

Fingon shook his head. “No. Leave it.”

Maedhros left it at that. And not.

“Why did you start things with Duilion, if you had feelings for Oxygen all along?”

Fingon sighed. “I guess I wanted to feel loved. It is nice.”

“You are loved”, Maedhros said quietly.

“Yes”, Fingon whispered. “But it is another kind of love. Not less, never, just different. I just, sometimes, I want to be kissed and held at night. Ridiculous. But I crave - Touch.”

‘I did not mean it platonically!’, Maedhros wanted to scream. He kept his mouth shut for fear of destroying the friendship they had. Instead he reached out and hugged his best friend closer, trying to give him at least a bit of the warmth he was craving for.

“You are an idiot”, Maglor told him three days later. “You should have told him. If he had thrown you out, he would be an asshole himself.”

“I do not want to loose him over something so stupid”, Maedhros protested. “He’s clearly in love with the other guy.”

“And still he dated this plague, Duilion. Which has caused you grief. Why should you not try to date your beloved?”

“Because what we have, it is enough. More than.”

Maglor sighed. “Please, brother. This once, do something for yourself and take Fingon out on a dinner.”

“But…”

“No but. I will pay, alright?”

“I can pay it myself”, Maedhros protested. His side job paid well enough.

“Then let’s wager. If you get him, it’s your money, if not, I will cover the bill.”

“Maglor…”

“Alright then, awesome”, Maglor exclaimed in jubilation and hung up. Maedhros was left staring at his phone, secretly cursing his younger brother.

Maedhros had no intention of doing as the wager commanded. Unfortunately, he had not counted on Maglor’s mischief and planning. And him roping the Ambarussa into his shenanigans.

Amras, sweet fourteen year old Amras, came by often to visit. Mostly to use Maedhros gaming console and play something not suited for his age. Maedhros let him, because he enjoyed spending time with the youngest of his siblings none the less.

After Amras had left again, Maedhros let himself sink down onto the couch and grabbed his phone. What he saw there let his blood freeze.

A message from Fingon had arrived, saying _Of course, thank you! That sounds awesome. When?_

With dread, Maedhros unlocked his phone and stared at the conversation. Amras must have stolen his mobile while he had been at the toilet, and sent a message to Fingon. Inviting him to dinner at a good restaurant nearby.

Maedhros had almost written a response, cancelling and telling the truth about Amras intervention, before he reconsidered. There was no harm in setting up a good evening in a restaurant.

Maedhros chose his best outfit before he went and knocked on Fingon’s door. His best friend opened, equally dressed in the finest clothes he owned. It was a sight to behold.

Together they went to the restaurant and had a wonderful meal. Maedhros started to get uncomfortable after a while, as the eyes of his best friend were lighting up and the read-haired one could not stop feeling like an imposter. He then made a decision to speak up and the truth.

Maedhros told Fingon the truth of how the evening had come to be. He could not bear seeing the glimmer in Fingon’s eyes, knowing he was getting something that belonged to the Other One.

Suddenly, Fingon fell silent and let his fork sink down. He stared at Maedhros disbelieving. “This has not been your idea?”

“No”, Maedhros confirmed.

Fingon’s eyes began to shine with something the red-haired one hated. Tears. “Fingon,…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this anymore”, Fingon pressed out, a single tear running down his cheek. He stood up and was gone in a blink of the eye and Maedhros was left staring at the empty chair. Fingon had forgotten his jacket, he realized numbly.

“Oh dear”, the old lady on the adjacent table muttered. “You better set that right boy”, she directed him. “Tell him how you feel.”

Maedhros stared at her.

“I heard your confession, my dear. You would not have gone along with your brother’s scheme if you didn’t love him. Now go.”

And Maedhros grabbed the lonely jacket and ran out of the restaurant.

Out on the street, he did not see Fingon anymore, but he doubted his beloved would have gone back to their housing. Didn’t one of Fingon’s siblings lived two quarters down? This was more likely. Maedhros took off and ran into the night. After three blocks, his sides stung and he felt cold. The frost was already settling down on the land and Fingon must be freezing.

Walking fast was better through the deserted city. Only in a few windows light still shone.

And then Maedhros hears someone crying in front of him and he looked closer. There, underneath a street-light, sat a single person covered in a fetal position. Fingon was crying.

Closing the last few steps between them felt monumental, but Maedhros did it. Fingon must not have heard him, for he looked up only when Maedhros stood already close. His eyes were slightly swollen and red. He was shivering because of the cold and sobs were still wrecking his body. Maedhros had done this, he would try to mend it. He laid the jacket around his beloved’s shoulders and sat down beside him on the icy floor.

“I am sorry”, they both said in unison.

Maedhros looked at Fingon. What did he have to be sorry for?

“I took this for something it was not. I am sorry I overreacted”, Fingon clarified and Maedhros heart broke a bit. He had not wanted to hurt his love by coming clean of how the evening had come to be.

“Shh. You have every right to be upset with me”, Maedhros declared. “I behaved like an asshole. I should not have gone with this knowing your heart is still beating for Oxygen.”

“Mae, please. Stop. I have not been fair to you either.” More tears ran down Fingon’s cheeks. “Having had hope felt nice, you know.” Another sob shook Fingon. “Logically I knew, you would never reciprocate, but this invitation, it felt so real, I couldn’t say no.”

“Wait, what?”, Maedhros asked confused, again Fingon repeated the sentence in the same moment.

“You first”, Fingon whispered.

“I said, I should not have gone with the date, because -”

“You want to date me?”, Fingon asked and finally Maedhros realized what he had said.

He blushed terribly. “Yes.”

“You never gave me any indication”, Fingon whispered and dried some of his tears with the arm of his shirt. “Why?”

“It is a new development”, Maedhros confessed. “The colour of my love for you has changed over the years. Guess this is called demisexuality these days. Anyway, you were in a relationship with someone else or pining for Oxy -”

“You are Oxygen”, Fingon interrupted and Maedhros couldn’t believe his senses.

“Me?”

“Yes you!”, Fingon almost laughed. A bit of a crazy undertone stole itself into his words.

“You never said anything.”

“You told me you were not interested in more than friendship with anyone when we met, so I wrote it off. My heart did not get the memo though.”

“We were both blind”, Maedhros whispered.

“We were”, Fingon agreed.

Hand in hand they walked back the long way to the student housing.

Not much more happened during the night. Both Fingon and Maedhros were still shaken by the revelation, but at the same time none wanted the other to say goodbye first, even if it was only for one night. The separation across the hallway was too much for now. In the glow of their new found love, they wanted to remain for the time being. This was why they ended up in Maedhros’ bed. It was simply a bit bigger than Fingon’s (which was stacked with pillows) and more comfy because of the better mattress.

The laid down face to face, in their clothes still, watching each other.

“Hold me please”, Fingon asked in a hushed tone.

Maedhros followed his friend's, now boyfriend’s, request and laid his arm around him.

In the morning, Maedhros woke to a warm body partly on top of him. The red-haired ellon was lounging on his back, with Fingon sprawled over most of the bed, one leg between Maedhros’, an arm over his chest and the head safely against his chest. It was amazing and Maedhros remained unmoving for a while, simply basking in the feeling.

It took not long for Fingon to stir awake. His breathing quickened and slowly, he opened his eyes. When he realized who he was sleeping next to, a sleepy grin spread over his face.

“Good morning”, Fingon whispered.

“Good morning.”

Fingon grinned for a moment and got serious again. “Did last night truly happen?”

“It did.”

“I’m happy.”

“Me too.”

And Fingon, still smiling, crawled a bit upward, it was awkward, but in the end, he kissed Maedhros. It was chaste kiss on the lips, their noses nocking a bit and the angle a bit uncomfortable, but it was good.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-reading this, I think it got a bit ridiculous. Anyway, I don't think I will change it, as I am buried underneath all my plot-bunnies atm.


End file.
